I WISH I WERE GAY

That's a long one but you gonna love it (or hate it)

BTW:

-if we know each other in real life or will

-if you happen to be a girl

-if we like each other or once did

DON'T READ THIS!!  But I know you will, so just a warning here before you go through that and make the irreparable mistake to delete me from your facebook and hate me forever after:
  PEOPLE CHANGE AND I'M A NEW MAN (that's all i could come up with, sorry...)  

     

So now that everyone is warned let's get started with the good stuff (I mean, bad stuff): 

     

     Well, I don't really mean that I wish I were gay but what I know is that these last years every time I got frustrated for lack of sexual activity or for messing it up with a girl and blow my chances I often thought: 

       I wish I were gay, because it's easier to find a guy than a girl! And because I would love to piss off homophobes, no that's not really true, but sure, why not...

        I can definitely get that many gays would disagree with me even though, on the other hand, they have mostly no ideas how hard it is for a guy to be with a girl?!

         I guess that if you are gay but very choosy or even worse,  if you like to challenge yourself by playing ball in the straight field, you might get into even more trouble, frustration and rejections than the average straight dude...

         But think about it: if what you are mainly looking for is a quick  game then there's nothing better than playing for the other team as there have plenty of special game centres for that

         And seriously,  if I had remained a virgin and hadn't wasted my time sleeping around with girls I might just have been 27 now and not 32... (silly I know)

         because the thing which is the most time consuming with girls in not doing it, unless you can hold on for days, but it's the "seduction" process 

         And once, and I will repeat myself, I'm really sorry if any of my ex-lovers, or future-lovers for that matter, inopportunely read that so for the record: 

                  

                       "It really was awesome being with you, or it will be"!

                                                             Cheesy, I know

           No, seriously, thanks god (or the big guy that programmed us up there with his big computer), as soon as I overcame the psychological barrier of the  200  a couple of months ago I thought:

         -Ok dude, you've been a real dick, player, whatever, and had sex with 10 times more chicks than the average French guy does in a life time so now it is time to grow up and think about  "serious stuff"!! 

             I'm not only a dick but an arrogant one you might think and you are just jealous but it's OK,        I understand. I'd think the same way if i were you... 

            And if you are not surprised and just fine with me spitting out the numbers then you are the one that understand and it's even better even if my advice is, don't go there and if you are already way passed it just take a break before it's still time!

      

            I'm not saying that because I think there is anything wrong with having multiple experiences and partners but because even though I've always known it, now i'm forced to observe that it's a real  "waste of time, energy and neurones". 

            Because the time and energy you waste trying to convince a girl, unless you know every rules from the book and are an instant-lady-killer,  to practise and share with you the most natural thing in the            world (since most of the time she doesn't seem to know it is the most natural thing in the world) it is time that you could have spent to learn a new skill or help "starving kids" in Africa or simply save money to travel the whole planet or even better, save the world, the galaxy and the lost Aliens out there! 

                                       

Of course since the average single  citizen dude already does what I do right now and from now: 

       "Not" striking a conversation with every pretty or interesting girl he encounters; it is easy for him to keep doing it and not doing it is a huge time saver so man, you're a champ! 

        Bang! It took me over 12 years to get revenge for my unsuccessful  teenage years as a virgin and I really hope that I'm finally over with it!  

        Sex activities with a new friend isn't a big deal and is perfectly natural and a nice thing to do when you have time to kill just as playing beach-volley, swimming, watching TV or reading a novel!

        But here we are, if you are on  a tight schedule and have to commit yourself into a bunch of fascinating stuff then you're not even going to prioritise sex at all and you'll just put on the bottom of your list. (unless it's more than just about sex, of course...)

        It took me a while to figure it out. I know it's fucking obvious but I'm a slow learner, remember?         

 Writing this here already shows how much i don't care letting people know about it even though most homo-sapiens would never do that since they value their privacy to suuuch an extent!

      Anyway,  as I got nothing much to hide I might be, and for the third time,  "involuntary" discrediting myself to any cool girl I know (or will know) reading this pile of shit but she also will understand that the past it the past and that I'm all for "being more serious now" if I ever think about wasting my time again with anybody on the longer run sometimes in the close future...

      And if she doesn't understand then probably we were not meant for each other. 

But the absolute truth is that women like bad boys and I dare any girl to tell she doesn't!     

So, to wrap it up,  Fundamental Christians think that homosexuality is a sickness that should be cured.  

           Does any other sick cult or organisation think about the same thing the other way around? 

     That heterosexuality is an illness; and turn me happily ever after into a "proud to be gay man" released from the appeal of all the beautiful walking mermaids out there?      Just let me know…   

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